Church Block Terror

Written: 2014 Oct 23 by Saabria Nejem

I had a rather awesome dream the other night. It took place on the back roads of my home town. I live in the county a few miles outside of the city, so lots of horses and good people. This takes place in a place like that.

I had two targets on my mind; Two churches one right down the street and around the corner from each other. By jumping over a few fences and crossing some back yards you can get from one to the other without going down the street. I was ecstatic when I got to my first destination, the First Baptist Church on Washington. The front door was unlocked so I took a quick look around and slid inside.

I’d like to say I have a reason for doing this but I didn’t, I just wanted to burn some buildings down to the ground and figured what more poetic than churches burning down to the ground? This was my first real act of terrorism. I had all black clothing, black pants, black shirt, black ski mask, black gloves, black shoes a black leather belt, black gloves and a few torch lighters. I brought several (four actually) backup torches for the terror task at hand.

I wanted to make sure no one was around because I wanted to avoid human casualties. I yelled out “hello!” a few times and walked around checking every room, no one was around. I walked all casual back to the main church room. (I don’t know what they call this room) I got to work arranging some furniture in a corner next to a big wooden pillar. It looked like it would burn really good once it caught fire. I always found the super silly gigantic rooms churches had to be somewhat extravagant. I mean, what does god really need with such a big room for anyway? I grabbed one of my torches and turned it on and sat it next to the woodpile of pews and chairs. This for sure would catch things on fire.

I quickly ran out the side door and watched from the property line as the fire started to rage inside. Smoke started to pour out the sides as the fire got bigger and bigger. I felt some panic and jumped the fence, running through some back yards and finally hopping the fence into the yard of my second target, The First Methodist Church! This neighborhood is full of churches claiming to be the first.

By the time I got to the second churches parking lot I could see the fire starting to rage, it wouldn’t be long before the fire would be out of control. I ducked inside the Methodist church. This church was also unlocked. I ran through all the pews grabbing bibles and hymn books and again, making a good sized pile in what looked like the most flammable corner of the church.

As soon as I started the second fire I heard sirens in the distance. It couldn’t have been more than six or seven minutes after I started the fire that I heard emergency services responding. I ran out the front of the methodist church and ran zig zagged across the street and into some innocent denizens side yard that was full of easy to hide in bushes. By this time dogs were yelping and barking at all the commotion down the street. I turned to watch the fire erupt and the chaos ensue.

Its hard to put into words exactly how I felt at that moment, excited, delighted, stimulated, aroused. I was lucky enough that I can see both churches burn from my vantage point. There is only one fire department with two fire trucks nearby. Both were at the first scene, so it took them a while to get over to the second building. The Methodist church was going to burn totally down. The Baptist church was still raging, the bigger of the two fires, and the bigger of the two buildings.

I figured I had accomplished my mission and needed to return safely. So I quickly stripped off my black shirt and black pants to reveal some blue jeans and a light blue t-shirt. I then walked away from the fires down the street and took a non direct path back home in an attempt to prevent being followed. I think I got away with it. Only time would tell.